Always Be There
by Amiyuu
Summary: It is in the clutches of darkness that one's mind tends to wander onto forbidden territory. While one finds solace in the other's touch, why does it hurt so much? Stay with me. Always. Drabble, ONESHOT!


**Hi there! I've been kinda stuck on my other fic for this fandom for a while, and my official excuse is college, but I couldn't help myself so I figured short drabbles and oneshots should be fine. Right? Right? Aaaanyway, this was mostly written around two years back and when I was cleaning out my drive I found it so I changed it slightly and decided that hey! I am going to put it up so that people know that I'm not dead yet! So they can kill me. Yeaaaaah... **

**All of that aside, I do hope that you enjoy this, and that it's not too weird, because my writing style has changed substantially in the past couple of years. Also, I am considering a Kaoru POV of this, but that would probably come out a bit angsty, and I don't feel like angsty at all right now. We'll see! R&R is much appreaciated, and lemme know if you think I should put up a Kaoru POV or just leave it as such. **

**Cheers!**

**Image Source: spots/hikaru-and-kaoru-hitachiin/images/31302969/title/hikaru-kaoru-photo**

**Disclaimer: I do not own OHSHC or its characters. Only the following story is mine. (T^T)**

* * *

"Kaoru? Hey, Kaoru, wake up."

Nothing. He doesn't move. I fold my arms around his body and bury my face in his arched back. I feel the damn stinging behind my closed eyelids and blink them furiously, swearing not to give up my pride like that. When Kaoru isn't here anymore I'm not going to cry like this every night.

I stop blinking, shocked at the thought that just went through my mind.

_When Kaoru isn't here anymore… _

When? He's never leaving! Why on earth would I think such a stupid thing? I guess all those times Haruhi called me an idiot, she was right. Ugh, look! The tears are flowing. I shouldn't have stopped blinking. Now if Kaoru's back gets soaked he's going to catch a cold! I choke back hysterical laughter. I'm scolding myself for crying into Kaoru's back. But it's not like I can start scolding Kaoru's back. I smother another laugh. That's a thought.

The humor fades when I look around us. The shadows; they look so much closer than they did earlier. I'd never admit this to anyone, besides Kaoru and maybe Haruhi, but I have a fear of the dark. Laugh all you want, it's a fact.

Only being around either one of them takes off the edge of the fear. Around Haruhi it's mostly because I want to protect her. But around Kaoru, it's because protects me. Odd, isn't it? I'm supposed to be the older brother but I have to wrap myself around my younger brother to keep myself from crying.

I slip my hand over his shoulder and rest it on his hand next to his head on the pillow. His hands are always warm. Even in the middle of winter when I feel like my ears would fall off due to the cold, as soon as he grabs a hold of my hand, his heat seems to spread up through me and the cold just vanishes. I have trouble letting go when I touch him. Just like right now. I push myself up against his back even more if that was possible, feeling the shadows' non-existent eyes on my back and pull the blanket we shared up to my chin.

When we were kids, I sort of developed this fear when I saw the maid we always played with disappear into the night. She never came back and I always thought that the reason for that was because the darkness ate her up. Even though now I know the real reason, there's that fear at the back of my mind. Only Kaoru knows about it. Because only Kaoru knows that it's not a joke. That it's not funny.

He didn't laugh at me when I told him. He didn't laugh at me when I would suffocate myself under the blanket and virtually break his bones with my death grip when I couldn't sleep. Neither did he laugh at me when I would creep into his room in the dead of the night with a torchlight and jump into his bed without even closing the door or switching off the torch.

He'd quietly get up, shut the door, pick up the torch from the floor and put it on the table then get his favourite plush toy and give it to me to hug even though he knew that I preferred hugging him. It did help, though. When we were apart, I'd carry that toy with me everywhere because it reminded me of Kaoru.

I stopped using it years ago. Although, I couldn't stop myself creeping into his room. He was amused by that and suggested that we should just share a room and use my room as sort of a store room. Of course, I agreed to that.

My twin suddenly stirs and rearranges our hands so that they're intertwined.

"Hikaru?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you," he says it so softly that it was more of a breath than a sentence. The best kind of reassurance he can offer me.

"I love you, too." More than you'll ever know.

"Go to sleep, Hikaru."

"Ah."

He turns to look at me, eyes half closed. Did I really look like him? No one besides Kaoru can look that perfect, right? Those liquefied gold eyes. They drove away all my fears of the dark. Unfortunately, they drove away my breath too.

He scrutinizes me for a while. I hope he doesn't notice how I'm actually looking at him. He turns around at last and I release a silent sigh of relief. Instead of going back to sleep though, he pushes himself out of the bed.

"Kao-?"

"Wait here." He slips on a robe to keep him warm against the sudden gush of cold air, the product of having the air-conditioning on for long hours, and disappears around the door into the hallway. I wait for him.

And wait.

Where is he? My mind is frantic, worried that what had happened to the maid had happened to my brother as well. I want to get up and check but every time I got up enough courage to do that, the shadows became longer.

Threatening.

I almost choke on a scream.

He comes back.

Carrying that teddy bear that I used to sleep with. He holds it out to me.

"Here."

I look at him for a minute and then take it and crush it against me. I smile, it smells just like him. He gets back into bed and slips his arm loosely over my hip.

Still holding the bear in one hand, I put one hand around his waist and bury my face in his neck.

He whispers my name and I look up. There he was with those eyes again. This time I didn't bother with what my face told him although I'm pretty sure it was saying I'm running out of air.

He runs a hand lightly over my forehead, and the fleeting heat from his palm seems to work as some sort of spell that makes me instantly drowsy. With heavy eyelids I return his gaze, mirroring the affectionate smile that he sends my way.

I wish I could tell you I'm in love with you.

I see Kaoru's lips moving, but along with the burden of the darkness, all other worries seemed to have left my body, and I feel like I am finally at peace. Before he finishes the sentence, my brain vaguely registers that I saw nothing but black.

There was no fear, though. Because Kaoru is here, and he always will be.


End file.
